6. Boundaries and Personhood

Musings on boundaries and Chappell Roan, and where we draw the line between fan and artist

Sep 02, 2024

For as far back as I can remember, I have always been a fan. From 90’s boybands, to Harry Potter mania, to the 2000s emo punk bands and music forums/LiveJournal (which essentially inspired this blog), I have always found myself participating in different types of fan culture. As a millennial who also grew up with the start of “the internet,” a lot of my participation has been both offline and online. For all the time spent online meeting likeminded listeners and fans in forums and community spaces, there was always a space to debate and have conversation of similar topics in offline capacities.

There is plenty of material and literature on how the growth and expansion of the internet has lead to polarization and the depletion of nuance in various spaces. As we become more and more dependent to being online for living our every day lives, that sort of mentality shift also sees itself playing out in the parasocial relationships we come to develop through “connecting” with and following influencers, artists, and celebrities.

In recent years, I have not seen a rise as fast as that of Chappell Roan. While I am not an avid listener, I have tuned into her rocket to stardom mainly because it is so rare these days that someone climbs as fast as she has, and rather organically at that.

With her rapid growth has also come rabid fans talking about her non stop online and flocking in thousands to the slew of slots she has had throughout the American summer festival tour. What started out as appreciation and adoration has slowly morphed into obsession and fanaticism, to the point of turning some people off from even wanting to experience Roan’s performances (see: the rabid fans in every festival sub Reddit). It also brought Roan to her own point of needing to set fans straight and call them out on their obsessive and stalker like behavior, citing people seeking out her mother’s home or constantly coming up to her for photos when she is not on the clock.

“If you saw a random woman on the street, would you yell at her from the car window? Would you harass her in public?”

“I’m a random bitch. You’re a random bitch. Just think about it.”

“I don’t give a fuck if you think it’s selfish for me to say no for a photo or for your time for a hug … that’s not normal. It’s weird!”

What struck me as, for lack of a better word, crazy, was the backlash that came about in the weeks after. Why were people obsessed with calling her out for putting people in their place and establishing boundaries? What gave people the right to even think they had the right to access her at all times of day?

The criticism took another turn when Roan announced the cancellation of the first two dates of her European tour to accommodate a sudden schedule change to perform at the MTV VMAs. People questioned her authenticity and called her all but a sell out for choosing to perform at an award show with millions of versus instead of at small 1-1500 capacity venues for her true longstanding fans. The once adored niche artist who could do no wrong has now become a hotly debated online entity whose artistry is overshadowed by whether or not she simply sucks as a person.

The discussion on whether she is a sell out for prioritizing money and her career growth is for another post.1 However, while fans may be hurt that they will not get the opportunity to see her in a small venue, or will lose out on money they spent to get to those shows, I wonder why there is any further discussion about the choices Roan and her team are making for her own career? It is not really anyone’s place to dictate what she feels would be good for her career and growth.

Not limited to fans, but the media’s role in perpetuating the idea that celebrities should be hyper analyzed and held to gross standards of relatability and personal access also feed into the craze. For years, Beyoncé has been criticized and questioned as to why she does not do more interviews or allow media access beyond expertly curated docu-clips and series. Yet for the entirety of her first pregnancy she was poked and prodded about the legitimacy of her carrying her own child to term, with every personal boundary violated by photographers and the media at large.

Even in response to Roan, the media is essentially positing that fans deserve some level of access. Because what about the hoards of teen girls that look up to Roan that may want a photo in one of the off chances that they see her on the street? How could she be so lacking in management or media training to post near “incoherent” videos calling out the way that she is treated?

Acting as though her calling out stalking and fanatic behavior makes her unrelatable and on her high horse when she is, in true RELATABLE human form, laying out her personal boundaries and asking to be treated like a human is the highest form of entitlement that really should be questioned.

Roan further clarified and held down her position in an Instagram post, emphasizing her call out of PREDATORY behavior, specifically those who are going out of their way to stalk her and make her uncomfortable when she is not clocked into what is actually just her job. Yet the media has decided to fixate on her emotionally charged Tiktok videos that started the discussion and continue to position her as some sort of untrained rabid female singer who needs to be tamed by her company. Is that not what she is calling out in the first place?

We have become so accustomed to seeing people through a screen, and solely through what they post online, that our minds come to believe that that’s who they are. We see artists like SZA actively replying to DMs, commenting on posts, and being, frankly, extremely too open with fans, that people then seem to ascribe this behavior as the standard by which everyone else should act and be comfortable with. When, in reality, a lot of people just want to be artists. But in this age where merely making and putting out music makes you pennies, musicians have to resort to being present on social media and acting as pseudo influencers just to put food on the table.

It is inevitable with the state of the industry that musicians have to open up to fans more in online spaces. Whether it’s through reels and tiktoks of their lives, inner thoughts, or vlog style work processes, the avenue to promote oneself and actually make a living on one’s art is becoming smaller and smaller. Just because, however, they are posting such content to gain traction and notoriety to actually promote their music, does not mean that we actually know them as people.

I’ve seen members of bands I like actively communicate with fans through DMs and comments, especially in the early stages of their careers to help grow their brand and promote themselves as artists. However, as their fame began to rise, they decided to step back a little bit and become less accessible on social media. Fans responded with sarcastic comments and “jokes” about them wanting to act mysterious and unavailable, aka what “famous” people act like. But on the contrary, why is it necessary to criticize someone rethinking their position on the internet (or in real life) and want to protect a little bit of themselves?

At what point do consumers learn to draw a line? Whether an artist is explicitly saying it or not, things posted in an online space are never really the full story of someone’s personhood, nor are they an invitation to enter into that person’s space. We decry creepy men who come into women’s DMs with sexual advances and harassment, so why is it any different for fans DMing or commenting on an artists’ space beyond what they are comfortable with? An artist may entertain it for a while and have fun discussing their music and performances with fans in an online space, but when they choose to draw the line, or put up a wall to protect themselves, why are we attacking them for displaying and vocalizing what their comfort level is?

In 2021 while attending Kpop group BTS’s first post-COVID stadium shows, I found myself in a situation where people I had just met who also flew in to attend the concerts discussed purposefully booking the same hotel as the band. The conversation then morphed into them recalling how during their stay, they decided to go to various floors of the hotel to try to see if they could find the band members’ rooms. I sat in horror, listening as they recounted with glee how fun the experience was. I had only previously encountered such stories through texts or accountings online, and always felt uncomfortable that anyone would think it was ok to broach someone’s personal time and space. But in the preparation of this piece, I remembered this story and how in my own way, I always felt as though the line between a celebrity and a fan should be held delicately. They do not owe it to us to give us more than what they present for their art and the promotion of it. Seeking to broach their private spaces is dehumanizing behavior that sees them are merely objects, stripping them of any of their own personhood.

This falls into a broader cultural phenomenon of idolizing and demonizing at the drop of a hat. Celebrities are expected to be perfect embodiments of humans, with no regard for the fact that humans are, in fact, not perfect. With the advent of social media and internet culture, many people don’t know how to separate the notion of an online persona versus a regular person. Paramore singer Hayley Williams voiced her support for Chappell Roan and spoke about going through similar experiences.

Williams’ songwriting has always included call outs of fans who have crossed the line and assumed themselves as experts of who she is as a person. Funnily enough, this song was criticized by a lot of said fans, who did not like that their behavior was being criticized by the artist themself.

Standing here like I'm supposed to say something
Don't hold your breath, I never said I'd save you, honey
And I don't want your money, if I was you, I'd run from me or
Rip me open, you'll see you're not the only one who's hopeless
Be sure to put your faith in something more
I'm just a girl and you're not as alone as you feel
We all got problems, don't we? We all need heroes, don't we?
But rest assured there's not a single person here who's worthy

This song in particular is one I always circle back to when I see crazed fan behavior (so, a lot as of late). Released in 2017, not much has really changed in fan culture and in fact has only gotten worse.

More than anything, I think instances like these are also demonstrative of a broader narrative of how we view others and ourselves. As our lives become more and more dependent on algorithms and the internet, we lose touch with humanity and underlying notions of empathy. More and more, people feel entitled to all parts of someone just because they see that online. People see popular accounts like Harry Daniels2 who goes up to singers and sings their songs back to them, and internalize the notion that they too can just go up to them (without realizing it’s all staged). The rise of influencer culture where people show us their daily lives and make us feel like we are “best friends” and “just like them” have created a sense of proximity that does not exist outside of our phones. Yet there is a growing difficulty where people cannot seem to separate these two worlds. Notions of feeling and empathizing with artists who are merely doing their job have gone out the window.

Historically, there has always been a parasocial relationship that exists between artist and fan. But there is a stark difference between feeling adoration and inspiration from someone making art that you enjoy, and following their every move and obsessing about the mundanity of their lives to the point where you are conflating all of it as their personhood. Or overstepping even further to stalking and touching.

Celebrity culture and society at large has always taken an interest in propping celebrities of all types up as people to poke and prod at, and use as a moral compass. However, most notions and lines surrounding this culture are becoming blurred, and people are starting to lose sight of what the relationship actually consists of. At what point do we collectively decide to take a step back and reevaluate the way we treat, essentially, other human beings? Why do we have to ring the bell and constantly bring up the tragic deaths of Princess Diana and Christina Grimmie rather than reform our own behavior and check ourselves when lines are crossed?

Fandom and fan spaces do not have to be toxic cesspools that encourage bad behavior. Yet they are slowly morphing into such spaces where I have to wonder if there even is a safe way to be a fan online anymore.

Thank you for tuning in.

on my frequency

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